Why Parties at the Trancy's NEVER End Well
by My Mind is a Nomad
Summary: A Crackfic about the events of a ball at the Trancy Estate gone wrong


**(A/N: This story was inspired by an awesome Fruits Basket crack fic I read the other day. {By the other day, I mean two months ago}. Anyway, I have nothing else to say, so on with the story!)**

Summary: Don't even ask how this happened.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler or any of the other anime mentioned.**

It was just another day of Sebastian being his manly macho self at the Phantomhive Manor when...

"Ugh, Sebastian, look at this! A letter from those stupid Trancy's. Dear Ciely-poo, I am having a ball tonight and you, your staff, and your sexy demon butler are invited. It starts tonight at 70 o'clock! PS: If you don't come, I'll have Claude rape you and then tear you to shreds! Hope you'll come! Your lover, Alois Trancy.

"Lover!? What is wrong with that sick-" Ciel started.

"I guess we have no choice but to go." Sebastian said. "I do not know what he means by '70 o'clock', but we'll just show up at seven."

-Several Hours Later-

The party was in full swing and literally every single Kuroshitsuji character showed up. Except for the ghosts, Pluto, and Fred Abberline, who were all getting manicures. Also, everybody was enjoying themselves and having a great time. However, Alois, was bored.

"Claude? This party is too boring. I want you to spike the punch with Catnip Tequila."

"Yes, your highness." Claude licked his lips, thinking of a vulnerable and intoxicated Ciel. He didn't give a crap about why Alois asked to do this, he just wanted a night of fun with the Earl. "I shall complete this task immediately."

"And Claude? We are going to drink it, too." Claude widened his eyes. His dreams of a night with a drunken Ciel were ruined. "Yes, your highness." He repeated.

Soon, everybody at the party was affected by the Catnip Tequila. The triplets were the only ones who weren't intoxicated. Everyone was acting very foolishly and the craziest of things were happening. Little did they know, a certain Cyclonian had filmed the entire thing.

The next morning, everyone woke up confused and hungover. Drocell was covered in goofy string. Sebastian was dressed up as Kagome and William as Death the Kid. Bard, Mei-rin, and Finny were wearing purple bunny costumes. Prince Soma and Agni were sleeping in each other's arms. Alois was in the punch bowl. A naked Hannah was sleeping on top of Madame Red. Ran Mao and Lau were nowhere to be seen.

"Why am I wearing someone's lingerie?" Ronald asked groggily.

"And my throat is really sore, too." Mei-rin's eyes fell on the shinigami and she looked away, blushing madly.

"The question is," Claude said. "Why am I wearing a wedding ring?"

"No! No! No!" Lizzy cried. "My hair! It's gone!" She burst into tears. Ciel noticed she was wearing a wedding ring, too.

Lau and Ran Mao came dashing downstairs. "Guess what Claude? I got laid! Best night everrrrrr!"

Everybody shuddered and were at least mentally scarred by Lau.

"That was just weird. Wondering how wasted you got last night?" A disembodied voice asked. "Hmph. Stupid humans. I have the answers."

A boy around Ciel's age came out of the darkness. But, he had long, pointy elf ears, amber yellow eyes, and forest green hair tied in the front with two red hair ties.

He also had very strange clothing. His pants looked like really saggy brown capris, and the boy also had a no sleeve shirt that was cut off right below his chest.

"I am Kish, a native from Cyclonia. And, I have recorded your madness from last night. Dare to watch?"

People were questioning whether they could trust him or not, but decided to go along with it, since all they cared about what happened the night before more.

Kish grinned. "Here, watch your video." A TV appeared from who knows where and he hit play.

Everyone watched as Alois and Claude formed their evil scheme. They all shot nasty glares at Alois and his fellow butler.

"Aww, fiddlesticks!" Alois shouted.

Before long, the craziness started to come alive. Drocell bought 50 cans of goofy string. Next, Ashela , (my personal nickname for Ash and Angela), started doing what looks like reenacting the corset scene with a rubber duck. Then, Hannah kneeled down in front of Madam Red.

"What the hell!?" Hannah watched the camera, her eyes, or should I say, eye, widened in shock.

"Oh, Madam," A drunken Hannah confessed. "I have always loved you."

"Oh, then in that case," Madam Red said in a somewhat sultry voice, "let's get it on, shall we?"

Before any hardcore yuri was caught on video, Kish rotated the camera to see another equally strange scene.

Ciel wiped his forehead and sighed, "I am exhausted. All of this angst is weighing me down."

"Being an orphan is so hard," Alois complained. "You know what I'm talking about, Ciel?"

"You got that right," Ciel said. Suddenly, he broke out into song. "It's a hard knock life for us! It's a hard knock life for us!" (I find this ironic since they're filthy rich).

"'Steada treated we get tricked! 'Steada kisses we get kicked! It's a hard knock life!"

Then they sang the whole song. Over and over again. While doing the salsa. That went on for about an hour, but another scene caught the cast's attention.

Bard, Mei-rin, and Finny had stripped down right on the spot. Mei-rin tried to get up and block the television, but Kish grabbed her wrist, preventing her from covering the television.

Then, Ronald came along, and got in his birthday suit along with them. Somehow, the trio of servants found purple bunny costumes and decided to wear those. And then they started to tap dance... Meanwhile, Ronald had picked up Mei-rin's undergarments.

"Oh, hell no!" Ronald fumbled at the bra, trying to unlatch the hook.

Just as predicted, TV Ronald put them on. But, unexpectedly, he ran around in panic mode, screaming at the top of his lungs, "THE DARK LORD IS COMING! THE DARK LORD IS COMING!" Everyone covered their ears.

"The dark lord?" William asked. Ronald bowed his head in shame. "Well, someone's addicted to Harry Potter." William commented. The cast looked back at the screen.

Apparently, Price Soma and Agni were trying, (and failing), to do the dougie. That's when they noticed Sebastian coming in wearing a green sailor like girl's school uniform. Uh oh. He was cosplaying as Kagome. He swished his short, green skirt, and headed over to William, who looked even scarier than Sebastian.

Will was playing wearing a tux and his hair had been combed down and there were three white stripes on the left side. He was cosplaying as Death the Kid.

That's when they decided to start making out. The cast was dumbfounded. Even Kish was surprised by this, even though he witnessed it firsthand. William threw up on his symmetrical suit and Sebastian looked at the TV in disgust.

To make things worse, Lau and Ran Mao were up to their usual tricks, except this time, in the bedroom. Kish skipped that part completely.

"Aww, I wanted to watch my own tape-" Lau began. Everyone else, (except Ran Mao), screamed no in his face.

Suddenly, Drocell brought the cast's attention back to the screen. TV Drocell was now standing on top of the stair ledge, (where Claude did his famous tap dance), started spraying goofy string everywhere, and then started singing.

"When the sun shines, we shine together, told you I'd be here forever! Said I'd always be your friend; took an oath, Imma stick it out to the end! Now that it's raining more than ever! Know that we'll still have each other!

Won't ya stand under my umbrella! Won't ya stand under my umbrella! Ella-ella- eh eh eh!" Drocell went on singing Umbrella.

Throughout the night, weird things happened. Grell did a lap dance for Viscount Druitt, who enjoyed the whole thing, despite Grell being a shemale. Alois and Ciel stopped singing and were now reenacting Jesus' birth using an empty punch bowl as a manger. Also, Claude and Lizzy gave each other Mohawks.

Lizzy started to cry about her hair again. TV Claude then kneeled down in front of Lizzy.

"Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford, I have to say, you are a charming lady." People's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Will you marry me?"

And somehow, someway, Claude and Lizzy tied the knot. Ciel was now more furious than if Akane caught Ranma with Shampoo. (Thumbs up if you understand this reference).

Around 3 am, people started to fall asleep and soon, everyone was sleeping. Even the demons! Except for the poor triplets, Timber, Canterbury, and Thompson, who had witnessed the entire thing.

"Well, that's it!" Kish exclaimed. Everyone had petrified looks on their faces. "Now, I need to go sic some Chimera animals on the Mew Mews! Ta-ta for now!"

Kish left, leaving the cast of Kuroshitsuji to wonder how this entire thing happened.

**(A/N: Yep, that's it! I finished this on Nov/12/2013 and that was my first crack fic! Please don't flame me on this, it was my first try. Now, I'm exhausted. Let me sleep!)**


End file.
